Nampaknya ada yang tidak bersetuju dengan posting saya di IbuGroup.

Puncanya saya komen, nafkah terletak di bahu suami. Jika suami mampu hantar isteri ke slimming center, apa salahnya. Isteri pula jika sedar suami tak mampu, janganlah meminta-minta... Saya setuju dengan kenyataan "Duit i, i punya, duit u pun I Punya" ... sebab nafkah memang terletak pada suami dan sesungguhnya tiada hak ke atas duit isteri. TAPI, adalah satu bonus jika isteri redha dan sudi berkongsi duit dengan suami....

Saya nasihatkan dia, cuba2lah semak balik buku kursus kahwin... kalau tak jumpa, usahakanlah cari info bab2 nafkah...

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Saya sendiri masih menuntut bab-bab ni dari macam-macam sumber. Kalau dulu saya tak kisah dan tak berkira tentang nafkah, tetapi sekarang saya sedar hak saya senagai seorang isteri. True, I'm an independent person, unfortunately just the sake of my +ve attitude, I have contribute this lack of 'nafkah' unawareness, towards my husband!!!

I'm the MAIN bread winner of the family for the past few years. (I know I'm not alone out there, saya selalu baca artikel yg Pn Rohimah forward sedikit masa dulu, dan saya salute dia!) Until now I still respect my husband, but these few months I realized people should not take advantage on me, not even my husband. Sebelum lemak di perut menebal, saya ingatkan suami akan tanggungjawap dia and of course I support him from behind. Untuk apa itu semua? Tak lain tak bukan tujuannya supaya kami bahagia dan hidup dengan rukun dan damai.

Ada sesetengah suami, saya tak kata semua, ya... dapat isteri yang bekerja or bergaji lebih, lupa or buat-buat lupa menunaikan hak isteri. Yelah, isteri dah berduit sendiri, pada dia tak perlu diberi duit. Salah tu.... Perlu diingatkan walaupun isteri bekerja, suami tetap wajib beri nafkah pada isteri, walau cuma RM50 sebulan (untuk kegunaan isteri, bukan untuk beli barang dapur, ya...). Isteri berhak menuntutnya nafkah zahir ini, dan jika suami ingkar, isteri boleh mengadu atau buat laporan... (bukan utk bercerai, ya.... tapi mengadu yang suami gagal beri nafkah pada isteri). Alhamdulillah, saya masih belum sampai ke tahap bab-bab mengadu nih...

Suami juga tiada hak atas duit isteri. Jika dia menggunakan duit isteri tanpa izinnya (atau tanpa rela), HARAM hukumnya. Kalau masa berbelanja barangan dapur atau keperluan lain, jika suami ckp "guna duit awak dululah, nanti abang ganti.".... suami WAJIB ganti sebab itu dah jatuh hutang, unless si isteri menghalalkan. Jangan pandang remeh soal nafkah, kerana ia melibatkan dosa pahala.

Hidup suami isteri kena ada give & take... Tapi saya perhati kebanyakkan kepincangan rumahtangga berpunca dari soal nafkah zahir & batin. Kenalah ingat, jika isteri gunakan duitnya untuk perbelanjaan keluarga, isteri itu dapat pahala sedekah, tapi tidaklah bermakna suami boleh lepas tangan kerana nafkah zahir TETAP tanggungjawab suami.

Saya sedar, sesungguhnya tanggungjawab suami amat berat, sebab itulah saya saling ingat-mengingatkan. Jika suami gagal menunaikan nafkah dan jika terdetik di dalam hati yang saya tidak redha dengan apa yang berlaku, automatically dah jatuh berdosa. Sebagai isteri yg diizinkan bekerja, saya bantulah apa yang patut untuk meringankan beban suami.

Saya menulis supaya isteri-isteri di luar sana sedar akan HAK-HAK isteri dalam perundangan ISLAM & PERKAHWINAN. Memang ramai isteri kurang sedar akan hak-hak mereka, sebab dulu saya pun jahil, tak tahu.

Kewajipan suami memberi nafkah kepada isteri ini berdasarkan perintah Allah yang terkandung dalam al-Quran dan al-Sunnah. Allah berfirman yang bermaksud: “Dan kewajipan bapa pula ialah memberi makan dan pakaian kepada ibu itu menurut cara yang sepatutnya. Tidaklah diberatkan seseorang melainkan menurut kemampuannya.” (Surah al-Baqarah, ayat 233)

Firman Allah yang bermaksud: “Hendaklah orang yang mampu memberi nafkah menurut kemampuannya dan orang yang disempitkan rezekinya maka hendaklah dia memberi nafkah dari apa yang diberikan Allah kepadanya (sekadar yang mampu); Allah tidak memberati seseorang melainkan (sekadar kemampuan) yang diberikan Allah kepadanya. (Orang yang dalam kesempitan hendaklah ingat bahawa) Allah akan memberikan kesenangan sesudah berlakunya kesusahan.”

Ayat itu menjelaskan suami wajib menyediakan makanan, pakaian dan tempat tinggal untuk isteri secukupnya, berdasarkan kemampuan tanpa lokek atau berlebih-lebihan. Jika suami tidak menjalankan tanggungjawabnya atau nafkah yang diberi tidak mencukupi sedangkan dia mampu maka isteri boleh mengambil daripada harta suami dengan cara yang makruf walaupun dia tidak mengetahuinya.

Al-Bukhari dan Muslim meriwayatkan daripada Aisyah, bahawa Hindun binti Utbah, isteri Abu Sufyan mengadu kepada Rasulullah SAW: “Ya Rasulullah, sesungguhnya Abu Sufyan seorang yang kedekut. Dia tidak memberi nafkah kepadaku dan anakku kecuali apa yang aku ambil dari hartanya tanpa pengetahuannya. Baginda menjawab: Ambillah apa yang mencukupi untukmu dan anakmu dengan cara yang makruf.”

Pemberian nafkah boleh dilakukan dengan cara suami menyediakan segala yang diperlukan isteri dan anaknya atau suami memberikan wang kepada isteri untuk membeli keperluannya. Jika suami sudah sediakan nafkah wajib ke atasnya, wang tidak perlu diberikan lagi.

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Kepada yang belum bernikah, bawa-bawalah bincang soal nafkah awal-awal. Siapa sapa nak bayar kereta, rumah, bil-bil, barang dapur dll, supaya tidak timbul masalah setelah kahwin. Sekarang, clause taklik (masa nikah tu) boleh ditambah ikut keperluan pasangan itu sendiri utk kebaikan bersama....

DiD i MARRY THE RiGHT PERSON?

This is a very good article. For those who are still single may learn something from here.... And for those who are already married may take it as a guideline to improve your marriage....











DID I MARRY THE RIGHT PERSON?

During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question. She said, "How do I know if I married the right person?"

I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said, "It depends. Is that your husband?"

In all seriousness, she answered "How do you know?"

Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing on your mind. Here's the answer.

EVERY relationship has a cycle.

In the beginning, you fell in love with your spouse.

You anticipated their call, wanted their touch,

and liked their idiosyncrasies.

Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard.

In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience.

You didn't have to DO anything.

That's why it's called "falling" in love...

Because it's happening TO YOU.

People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of my feet."

Think about the imagery of that __expression.

It implies that you were just standing there;

doing nothing,

and then something came along and happened TO YOU.

Falling is love is easy.

It's a passive and spontaneous experience.

But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love fades.

It's the natural cycle of EVERY relationship.

Slowly but surely,

phone calls become a bother (if they come at all),

touch is not always welcome (when it happens),

and your spouse's idiosyncrasies,

instead of being cute, drive you nuts.

The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship,

but if you think about your marriage,

you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage

when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking,

"Did I marry the right person?"

And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had,

you may begin to desire that experience with someone else.

This is when marriages breakdown.

People blame their spouse for their unhappiness

and look outside their marriage for fulfillment.

Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes.

Infidelity is the most obvious.

But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, a friendship,

excessive TV, or abusive substances.

But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage.

It lies within it.

I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else.

You could.

And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better.

But you'd be in the same situation a few years later.

Because (listen carefully to this):

THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE

IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON;

IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience.

It'll NEVER just happen to you.

You can't "find" LASTING love.

You have to "make" it day in and day out.

That's why we have the __expression "the labor of love."

Because it takes time, effort, and energy.

And most importantly, it takes WISDOM .

You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work.

Make no mistake about it.

Love is NOT a mystery.

There are specific things you can do (with or without your spouse)

to succeed with your marriage.

Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity),

there are also laws for relationships.

Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger,

certain habits in your relationship WILL make your marriage stronger.

It's a direct cause and effect.

If you know and apply the laws,

the results are predictable.... you can "make" love.

Love in marriage is indeed a "decision"...

Not just a feeling.